M.E.N.

Aidan Quinn

My little fellow's namesake.


Colin Farell

I especially like him in Phone Booth. Also in Hart's War. But really odd looking in Alexander. Hmmm......


George Clooney

I never liked George until Ocean's 11 / Ocean's 12. Dunno why but probably because he was a 'bad character' when in ER.


Pierece Brosnan

Used to like this Irish actor but he's getting old.

To lighten a boring work day....

NOTE: The short story of ghosts and its emergence below is not suitable for translation to any other language as the names of the spirits are best described in Malay.

Hantu Raya
Berasal dari Tanah Melayu. Dipercayai terkorban di dalam satu kemalangan jalan raya, sebaik saja keluar dari Pudu Raya untuk pulang berhari raya... ... .kegemarannya mencuri kuih kuih raya. Tempat menginapnya disyaki di balai - balai raya.

Hantu Langsuir
Dikenal pasti berasal dari Tanah Seberang. Ceritanya bermula di suatu pagi raya bila seorang suri rumah sedang memasang langsir lalu terjatuh dari tingkap, terus mati. Selepas itu, dia selalu datang menjeguk langsirnya. Hobinya bermain aumm cak di tepi langsir.

Hantu Jerangkung
Di percayai berasal dari Tanah Besar China. Ia bekerja sebagai penjerang kangkung di sebuah restoran. Hari hari kerjanya jerang kangkung dalam sebuah periuk besar. Satu hari seorang kawan menyergahnya dari belakang, kerana terlalu terkejut ia jatuh dalam periuk itu. Perkataan akhirnya ialah 'jerang... ..kung', jadilah Hantu Jerangkung. Hobinya mencangkung dan tempat tinggalnya dalam almari, sebab tu le ada lagu 'Jerangkung Dalam Almari'.

Hantu Pontianak Disyaki berasal dari India. Seorang lelaki, Mr. Ponti mendapat seorang anak perempuan yang sangat hodoh. Orang kampung selalu menyindir anak ponti ini. Ponti punya anak - Ponti punya anak - Ponti punya anak. Ponti sangat malu dan mengurung anaknya. Selepas 5 tahun, anaknya keluar dari rumah dan terkejutlah seorang nenek, Oi!
Pontianak... Lekatlah nama pontianak.

Hantu Penanggal
Seorang ibu tiri yang kejam, hobinya menanggalkan kain anak tirinya selain kain lakinya. Dah terbiasa dia rasa seronok pulak. Dia melebarkan hobinya dengan menanggalkan kain orang orang kampung. Hebohlah satu kampung 'Lari..lari... ..Penanggal'. Bila dia melihat sesuatu yang menarik seperti kurap, panau, kayap dan anu... ..dia pun mengilai semahunya.

Hantu Pocong Berasal dari Puchong. Nama sebenarnya Amat Garpu Bin Mat Sudu. Dia ni suka sangat menipu, senang cerita... kaki cong le. Bila dia mati terlompat lompatlah dia, nak pergi cong orang. Pucong! Pucong!

A Reason to Cry, Many More Reasons to Laugh

A Reason to Cry, Many More Reasons to Laugh

Many would wonder about the title of my blog. I may tell some day but till then, lemme just say that it is something very close to my heart, full of meaning, tears, frustrations and also, joy, laughter and smiles.

Updates

Aidan Quinn

My little fellow is about 5 unches now. I am in my 18th week and starting to show. I have been starting to show since the 10th week probably due to the lax muscles in and around my tummy. Dr is not able to determine the sex of my little fellow but I feel that it is a little 'fellow' from the very begining.

Anyway, Aidan Quinn (pictured above) will have my little fellow as his namesake. Not the full Aidan Quinn but rather, Christopher Aidan. Hopefully, my little fellow will look like him too... hee heeee heee.

However, should my little fellow turn out to be my little miss, then I have no name for her. Yet.

BTW, I hope I will be able to 'last' till the 39th week or even the 40th week so that it will stretch into October and I can spend the full October and November at home and only have a week or two at work before I go off for Christmas hols again... HAHA HAAA HAAAA...

So, here's to my little Aidan!

National Integration: Tell Me About It!!!

Yesterday, we organised a forum for our members where one of the panelist talked on National Integration. As I sat there listening to him, I thought that his views are, to people like myself, of least importance. In fact, I thought of it as a view of a Malay man who is, behind all his words, still afraid of losing his special Bumiputra priviledges.

You want National Integration? Here's my 2-cents worth of it...

On Race
I am a true bred 100% Bidayuh. My husband is half Baba-Chinese from Malacca and half Tamilan Indian where his grandfather came from Tamil Naidu in mainland India in the 1900s. What does that makes my kids? Indian? Bidayuh? Chin-Dian? None of the above. They are, to me, Bidayuh (50%)-Indian (25%)-Chinese (25%). And if I have my way, I would wipe out that 'Race: Indian' indication on their birth certificates and put it Bidayuh-Indian-Chinese. And what gives the government the right to call my husband an Indian in his birth certificate. He is neither Indian nor Chinese but BOTH! Then he should be considered Chinese-Indian. For a man who resents some of the cultural attributes of both races, maybe he should be given the choice to put whatever he wants - MALAYSIAN, perhaps.

On Language
I speak Bidayuh Bukar-sadong, my mom's dialect and because having brought us up, that was our main means of communication. I also speak Malay - both Bahasa MAlaysia, from my formal education, and local Malay from my interaction with friends. On top of it all, I also understand some of the local Malay dialects spoken in Kedah/Perak, which is my husband's version of BM. I understand some Hokkien, as that is the main Chinese sub-race in Kuching and which are what my Chinese friends mostly are. I also know basic French from my days in college.

However, I do not understand my dad's dialect of Bidayuh Singgai. This is because my dad himself speaks my mom's dialect and no one spoke the dialect to us when we were young so we do not learn. Of course, I understand a handful of the necessary words but that is about it. Don't blame me for not learning, as some of the elders would do when they find out I do not know the dialect. It is of no fault of mine that I am clueless about the dialect. As one of the participants of last night's forum said: The responsibility falls on the parents to teach the children.

Of course I learn English from school and becuase it is the second language we spoke at him, thanks to dad.

Now with my own kids, I speak English and Bidayuh Bukar-Sadong and my eldest daughter is learning BM and Mandarin in kindergarten. Being a quarter chinese, we also use some Hokkien at home to get her familiarised with her (late) grandmother's dialect. Indian? Sorry but the responsibility of teaching her the language befalls on hubby and if he himself do not speak it, so what can I do.

So you see, national integration is more than special rights, or polarisation, or cultural policy.

To be successful, national integration starts from self. Whether one is a Malay or Chinese or Indian or Bidayuh is irrelevant in this age and time. What we need is the one-ness in feelings and thoughts of being Malaysia, or wanting to be identified as a Malaysian, of dying as a MAlaysian.

But how can we when we have this thoughts and attitude that, when it suits us, 'I am a Malay so I can/ cannot...' or the occasional 'So China-man one ...'.

An Introduction to My Office, Part 2

The Entrance to My Office
The entrance to my office
This is the entrance to my office. The whole building is apart from the main Administration building so each working day, we get to avoid seeing the CEO and/or GM for as long as we want. Of course, until we are summoned to see them or we need to do something at Admin and Finance and come across them there.

The View from Inside

The View
Occassionally, we get so fed up with staring at the monitor screen that it would be a real break to just stand at the entrance and look out to the world. The palm tree is directly in front of the door while further ahead is the 100-year old tree that has been there since...I don't know... James Brooke's time? On a hot day, the tree gives us cool refuge while on a raining day, it helps break the thunderous fall of the rain water.

The Tree

The Tree
Looking up, the tree's branches looks like this. And it alwasy sets my imagination off. There are days when I half hope to see blazing red eyes staring back at me from amongst the branches and tree trunks. Why not? It is all but a 100years and these trees definitely have a Penunggu. Or two!

My Angels from Above

My Angels
When the Christmas season ended last year, I did not want to throw this lovingly made paper cut-out angels away so I stuck them to the glass partition between my cubicle and my Asst Manager's. Each monring when I pass them, I greet them with blessings and each evening, I wish them some blessings for the night. There are on occassion, when my Asst Manager would turn and look at me as I stare at these angels; she must be thinking I am going bonkers or something....

My Camouflage Tree

My Camouflage Tree
I requested from the gardener to have a plant palced near my desk. This is because (i) I need the oxygen which the plant produce, (ii) I need some greens around my dreary, grey/blue cubicle, (iii) I need to camouflage myself from people's view as they enter the office. HAA HAA HAA

My One and Only Window

My Window
Did I mention that my office complex is a hundred year old government quarters so who knows what had happened there before way back in the Brooke era, Japanese Occupation, rocking Sixties, hippi seventies etc.

So this the window which I have. Sitting typing this, the window is directly behind me. They have put up blinds at it but I prefer having it opened as such. MAnagement also had it grilled up and locked so I cannot open the window for much needed fresh air, unless I kick it open.

In the mornings, I like the feel of the sun shining through into the room and falling on my pc/monitor and my desk. It is such a nice view.

Outside, we have neighbours - two or three bungalows with maids (we can hear them talk occassionally) and dogs (we hear the barking), and a fancy condominium complex, which I believe is half empty.

So now you know my office complex is situated in a fancy part of Kuching's residential area.

A Poem For Holy Week

The Passion Fruit: The spiraled tendons of the plant, he notes, were taken as symbols of the lashes Christ endured, and the central flower column as the pillar of the scourging. The 72 radial filaments of the flower were seen as the crown of thorns; the three stigmas as symbols of the nails used in the crucifixion, as well as the holy Trinity; the five anthers, as the five wounds of Christ; and the style as the sponge doused in vinegar used to moisten Christ's lips. Taken together, the five petals and five sepals were used to refer to the ten apostles who did not either betray or deny Christ. The fragrance of the flower, continued Pons-Worley, helped recall the spices used to embalm the body of Christ. Finally, its globular egg-size fruit was taken as a symbol of the world that Christ saved through his suffering.

Palm Sunday
Jesus came to Jerusalem,
the week he was to die,
riding on a donkey,
riding strong and high.
Children ran to meet him,
palms in hand they sing:
"Hosanna, Son of David,
"Hosanna to our king."

Monday
The week he came another man died,
Lazarus was his name.
"Come out of your grave,"
Jesus cried,
and out of his grave he came.
Thank you, God of Life;
you want me to live, not die.

Tuesday
That week there was another man,
a man who could not see.
Jesus rubbed his eyes and said,
"Believe and you will see."
And believing,
the man could see.
Thank you, God of Light,
for giving light to me.

Jesus taught in the temple that week,
the week he was to die.
You'd think he'd be liked
for all that he did.
But some said, "No!"
"He's trouble!" they cried.
So they wanted him to die.

Wednesday
On Wednesday, one of his friends
(Judas was his name)
went to the leaders and said:
"I know where he goes,
"I know where he stays.
"He's yours, if you want him."
"We want him,"
they said.

Holy Thursday
On Thursday night,
("Holy Thursday ")
Jesus ate with his friends.

Now, you should know
that same night,
long ago,
God freed his people
from the chains of Pharaoh.

Bread and wine
Jesus gave to them:
"Here is my body,
"And here is my blood.
"It will make you free.
"When you do this," he said,
"remember me."

They went to a garden,
after the meal,
and Jesus knelt and prayed:
"Father, my Father,
"help me.
"Help me, I'm afraid."

Then Judas came,
and soldiers too,
who put him in chains,
and took him alone
to Pontius Pilate
who sat on a throne.

"He dangerous!"
"He must die!" they cried.
And Pilate, for no reason, replied:
"He must be crucified!"

Then they whipped him,
and pushed him
to a place called Calvary.
He fell sometimes,
carrying the cross,
cut from a heavy tree.

Good Friday
On Friday,
(We call it "Good")
Jesus was nailed
to hard, hard wood.

Beneath his cross,
his mother stood
and cried for what they had done.

"Oh, if I could hold him," she said,
"Hold my only Son!"
"Father, take me," Jesus said,
"Take me in your hands."

And God reached down
and took him,
and held his only Son.
"I am God who raises up,
"your life has just begun.
"I am God of the living,
"no grave can hold my Son."

Easter
Jesus came to Jerusalem,
the week he was to die,
riding on a donkey,
riding strong and high.

On Sunday,
when the week was done,
Jesus rose from the dead.
"Praise God! Alleluia!"
Risen is God's only Son.

Thank you, God of Light,
for giving us light to see.
Thank you, God of Life,
for giving Jesus to me.

You Say, I Say...

Come end of March 2005, it would have been exactly three years since my return to Kuching, my hometown. I remember (and forgotten) some things very clearly about the decision to make the drastic move from KL, where I have lived and worked the past 11 years, to a place I hardly knew but on occasion such as my one week yearly holiday over Gawai Festival and/or Christmas holidays.

One of the things which I have forgotten, for lack of practice, is the local Malay dialect used by the locals. Having lived among the KL-ites, I have earned myself the KL-ites tongue, I speak and express stuff in the typical KL-ites manner. I fact, I was so good at it, over the telephone, the person at the other end can be forgiven for thinking that I am Malay, or was born/raised in the city.

But having return to Kuching, I have to re-learn the language, especially when I started working and colleagues tend to speak local malay with me. Initially, I had the tendency to reply in Bahasa Malaysia, or speak in the language when I am forced to use malay. But now, I believe the dialect has returned to my tongue and I can speak it without having to think too much. But of course, there are words which I do not know, and never will know because really, Malay is not my mother tongue. English is.

So for those who are interested, here is a short lesson on Kuching-Malay dialect, with its meaning/translation in Bahasa Malaysia:

Kuching-Malay dialect Bahasa Malaysia
Apa tek? Apa dia?
Marek Kelmarin
Sidak Mereka
Kamek Saya
Kitak Kamu/Awak
Sik ‘boh (or Sik iboh) Tak apa
Apa polah kitak? Awak buat apa?
Sinei kitak pergi? Awak pergi mana tadi?
Kamek sik tau’ Saya tak tahu.
Sik tau’ Entah-lah.
Ga’go Penyibuk
Tu’nuk Tumbuk (makanan)
Lawa Sombong
Kacak Lawa
Kitak mau’k apa? Awak nak apa?

Sample conversation between an Office Worker (OW) and the Pak Guard (PK) at his office:
OW: Apa khabar ‘cik? Lamak sik nampak? Sinei kitak pergi?
PG: Khabar baik. Kamek pegi KL hari ya. Anak kamek baru beranak jadik mak cik pegi jaga –nya kejap. Kamek pun ikut-lah.
OW: Oh…makan angin-lah kitak.
PG: Sik jua’. Kamek nei tau jalan-jalan sia. Sabtu ahad baru dapat. Tok pun mun sidak ngembak. Mun sik, diam rumah ajak kamek.
OW: Oh. Anak cucu macam nei? OK? Cucu laki kah prempuan?
PG: Cucu laki. Anak kamek dah habis pantang, jadi kamek balit-lah. Bosan jua’ tinggal sia. Sik ada kerja nak dipolah.
OW: Auk-lah…kamek masuk kerja ‘lok.
PG: Auk.

You Get Monkeys When You Offer Peanuts...

I work with an organisation who 'claims' to be involved in issues on development and communication in the state. If you ask me, I still have not idea what 'development communication' is all about so don't bother...

Anyway, this organisation is commonly known as a GONGO among the locals - government-owned NGO - because of our links with the state government. Briefly, this is how it all began.

The idea for creating the organisation was started by the chief Minister (who, BTW, is still in power to this day) so the seed grant was from the government. After 22 years, we still get our salaries paid by the government and most of our issues are government-related and we work a lot with government agencies. Even a majority of our board members are government officials (and high ranking too!) So, who can blame the public...?

Anyway, this is an introduction to the 'monkeys' in my division - Communication and Knowledge Management. This division is further sub-div. into 02 units - Communication and Marketing, in which I am in, and Information and Knowledge Management (another fancy name for Resource Centre).

The Head Honcho
The Chief Executive Officer is a Melanau and was formerly with the Sarawak Tourism Board. He is rather fatherly though at time, and is rather government-ish in his thinking of stuffs.

The Second Head Honcho
my GM is a lady. She was promoted to her present position when the division was created in early 2004. She is a Malay, who wears tudung and is a full-fledge micro-vegan. Also, she is the reason why the organisation have the 'meet and eat' culture -- she simply must have some food served during meetings be it involving external parties or otherwise. I have mentioned lots of times that to reduce cost on these kind of things, freshment should only be served when meetings involved external parties. But who am I to say anything... when the leader leads, who cares...

"I have Experienced/Done This Before"
Personally I do not like my colleague. He is the kind of person who talks/brags a lot but does nothing. And his favourite sentence is "I have Experienced/Done This Before". I got so fed-up of hearing this that one day, I replied "Having done it before doesn't mean it is the correct thing!'

Sendiri Tebang, Sendiri Pikul - NOT!!!

This is the Asst Manager in my unit and as the sub-titled I gave, she is the kind of person who talks a lot about doing stuffs but when it comes to the actual work, it all comes down to me. She is also very young and her overall working experience is just 4 years... She is also not good in public relations (most of them thinks she is snotty), do not know how to write creatively (her work are edited by me) and so lacks the office-experience that she is the very example of the graduate who thinks just because they have the qualification, they know better.

My Partner in Crime

Is and I are the ones who have to bear the brunt of our two Asst Managers. Personally, Is is a good friend to have and spar thoughts with because he is also very funny and witty. He is also not ashame of admitting his mistakes and to ask for opinions and assistance, especially from me, since he knows that I know... stuffs...

The Older Brother

Dawit is Is' assistant when it comes to the daily running of the Resource Centre. He is also the elder brother of us all for he is in his 40s. He is quiet and don't say much.

Gangster Cina

Frankie is my assistant in my unit. He is responsble for the creative works for the whole organisation and reports directly to our Asst Manager when it comes to event management. Personaly, he is an ok guy but needs constant check-up and leading otherwise he will stray from his work. Also, I believe my Asst Manager does not like him because he is such a 'cina kebun' and not like the upper-class Chinese that she tries to portray herself.

Our Back-up Plan

Ita is my clerk. I said 'my' becuase she reports directly to me although she is to assist in both the units. As the title of this entry goes, she gets peanuts for the things she does in the office although she has been around 5-6years. SO I really don't blame her for leaving the office on time or not putting 100% to her work. What do you expect? even a gardener earns more than she, I believe.

...you don't think I would write about myself and put a picture as well, did you?!!!?

me

If you are feeling bored and needs inspiration...

If you are feeling bored and needs inspiration...

you may try to find the extra-terestrial life that that accidentally captured in the photograph above.

One Found, One More To Go ...

I was at my parents over the weekend and I came across this letter from a friend of mine. Of all the hundreds of letter he sent me, only this is what I have left...

" Dear Paulina
Hello, how are you? I just received your letter today (July 2, 1984). I guess you think I'm overdoing it a bit by sending you all this stuff but so what, it's time I did something for youfor a change. The stuff in the plexiglass container are typical American goods. They are sunglasses, pen, pencil, outliner, candle, bracelet, ruler, tennisball keychain, paper bee, stickers, a clip on The bear in trousers: squeeze its shoulders then its arms open), and a favorite Americanpastime, Legos - they're the colorful thing all stuck together: you can dissemble them then put them backtogether anyway you want. The newspaper is just for packing. My brother's name is (name omitted for privacy), he's going into 10th Grade.

To tell yout he truth, I don't know what the difference between a catholic and roman catholic is. But I think I'm roman catholic.

On 4 July 1984 (tomorrow), mu mom, her boyfirend, (Brother) and I are going to Cape Cod for a week. By the time you get this, we'll already be back. Also, on July 25 - August 1, my dad, his wife, (Brother) andI are going to Bermuda (a Britsih territory). I'll send youa post card.

Is your house on stilts? Could you send me a picture of your hosue too?

Well tell all your friends I said hi.

Yours truly
Scott

w/b soon "


The writer of the letter wrote me an e-mail recently. I was a huge surprise, a sense of relieve and gladness, especially this new year. (Read my blog 'In Search of "Old Friend' "

As with all his previous letters,they content the following information: his recent activities and where/what he will be doing the next few weeks. But this time, he signed off as "fondly".

Frankly, I do not know how to response to his sign-off so I made mine as 'me!!!' :-)

So yeah, I finally managed to get Scott to e-mail me. Never asked him why he MIA-ed for so long - maybe it's just a guy thing, maybe its his job (he flies with American Air) or maybe, he just wrote too many letters during his teenage year, he just don't want to write anymore. **shrug**

But all the saem, I wrote him back and I look forward to his reply, soon if not later.

Women of Patience, Giving and Empathy

Picasso's Mother & Child

Have you ever wondered why social workers or volunteers or caregivers are always women (people) from a poor or lower-income background?

I have been sending my daughter Emma to her Early Intervention Program at PIBAKAT (Persatuan Ibu Bapa Kanak-Kanak Kurang Upaya; to be politically correct though PIBAKAT is the acronym of Persatuan Ibu Bapa Kanak-kanak Terencat Akal). Today was her second session.

Her therapists and case worker are very proud of her because she is considered to be very advance compared to other DS children they have worked with. They have concluded that Emma is at the physical age of 9 months, which is not too far behind.

Anyway, the head therapist, Eileen, is a wonderful woman in her forties. She has worked with children with all sorts of disability and herself a foster mother of one. The other therapist – Elizabeth, Annie, Suji, Ina and Fatimah – all have a common background with Eileen; women from lower-income background who have someone in their family who are physically and mentally challenged.

So where are those well-to-do women? Are they so well-educated that they end up as professionals i.e. engineers, doctors etc? Hey, Eileen and the gang are professionals; in fact more so because they know things which ‘ordinary’ professionals like you and I do not – like how to strengthen your child’s lower trunk, or how to loosen the mucus from a baby who is having the cold.

Though with my many years working with marginalized people ie HIV+, and my own personal ‘involvement’ with a child with DS, I still find these women courageous, dedicated, well-admired and very giving.

And today, having chatted and spend personal time with them, I find that after personally going through this personal life challenge, one tend to be more patient, giving, supportive of others and understandable of others’ predicament.

Maybe, I hope, I am on my way to being one of these women. And I hope that some day, I will be able to defeat “my own evils” to be able to start giving to others.

God bless these women!

The Art of Writing

My portfolio at work has been re-adjusted slightly.

My manager discovered that I am very good at writing - articles, news, memo etc - she has redefined my job to be the 'official' writer for the organisation.

Is that what you call "earning money from a hobby"?

I like writing but not about development communication or whatever is that this place existed to do... hmmmm

In the meantime, I will contibue to do what I like doing...earning the money for stuffs that are so easy to do.

HA HA HA!!!

Happy New Year, buds...!

These are my new year resolutions:-

1. Use public transport more often ((if I still know how...);

2. Skydive (and loose my ‘chute on the way down…);

3. Take quiet walks on the beach (after checking the met. dept on tsunamies, tidal waves and hurricanes);

4. Body build (and get crushed by a 2-kgs dumb-bell);

5. Become some sort of activist (and carry a placard that syas “I don’t like soemthing,,,”);

6. Get voted off a reality show (but first, find one worth getting into);

7. Get a physical check-up (and pay the bills through my nose!);

8. Just be a happy nut (and get a free ride to the assylum…);

9. Volunteers more (especially for stuffs involving my kids);

10. Bungee jump (using a rope that is far too long…)!

So here's to you, buds...

YEAR GONE
WHERE TO?
NEW YEAR
NEW YOU

FRESH DREAMS
CLEAN SLATE
HOPES HIGH
LIFE GREAT!

A Carpentar named Joseph.

A long time ago, there lived a man named Joseph. Joseph was a carpentar. He was engaged to be married to a young lady named Mary, a women whom he was very much in love with. In fact, they were both very much in love and were set on marrying one another.

But before they could get married, Josepg found out that Mary was pregnant. And because he was an honorable man, he was determined to end his engagement with Mary.

Before he could do so, an unearthly being named Gabriel came and told him to not do what he was thinking of doing, but rather, to continue with his plans of marrying Mary. Because Joseph was also God-fearing, he did what he was told and took Mary as his wife.

When Mary was nearing her time to give birth, Josepg took her to his original homwtown of Bethleham because it was required that all man go and register themselves with the ruling government at his own hometown.

Because of this, and the lateness of the hour, Joseph could not find a proper place to put up for the night and had to accept the offer of a shepherd to take refuge in a barn.

Mar, out of exhaustion from the journey, went into labour that night. Amazingly too, three total strangers, all of whome were well-to-do business entrepreanurs from nations far away, stopped by at the barn and congratulated Mary and Joseph on the birth of their beautiful baby boy.

Josepg decided to name the baby, Jesus, who turned into a fine carpentar like his father Joseph. And who, at about 33 years of age, died on a cross for the sake of mankind.

Christmas blessings and a new year filled with joy, happiness and good health for all!

Introduction to My Office

The Entryway to My Office

My desk faces the door from a 45degree angle. Best of all, I am 'shield' by my cpu and my monitor so whoever enters the office will not know if I am at my desk unless I make it known. Hee hee heee....



My Unusually Cluttered Desk...

My desk is unusually cluttered when I took the picture because I just got back from organising a function thus the paper bag (which I used to carry our door-gifts), the digital camera cable etc etc. But really, on any given day, not a file is out of place.



My Blinds..with its seasonal decor...

I draw my window's blinds because the grills on it are horrendous!!!! So I am slowly decorating my bland pale blue blinds with nice pictures... but no, you will not find personal pictures on it.



My Teeney Notice Board....

I have a ridiculously tiny notice board. On it are contact nos. of my Board of Directors, staff e-mail addresses as well as an article from Musings (The Star) written by Datuk Paduka Marina Mahathir (my former Boss, AIDS Council President).



My Paper Christmas Tree

This tree sits atop my cpu so it further help shiled me from outside view. Sitting at my desk, working on the computer, this the the exact angle I get of my tree albeit from a lower perspective.



My Paper Angel....

I made paper-cone angels for myself, my clerk and my designer in conjunction with the Christmas season. My manager does not have one cos.... I dunno. I only give to those I like...KAH KAH KAH



The Tree in my Office

This tree was 'sponsored' by my manager. Though she is a Buddhist, she was more excited than I was due to the season and brought a tree to decorated the office....hmmmm....



My Plant

For good feng shui, I have a water plant on my desk...see how much it grows...BTW, please don't tell the gardener that I snipped these off his plants...hee hee

Working at the Beach

I was at the beach the last three days, not for a well-earned vacation but rather to rapporteur for a workshop.

Man!!! It sure is lonely being at the seaside resort when you are working and all alone. I missed my kids and hubby.

I was confined in an air-conditioned room 8am to 10pm. I was stuck with a bunch of people who was talking non-stop about the workshop or what they will discuss further. I had to wear office-wear! at the resort.

Mann!!! I need a vacation.

So I will be submitting my leave application form today. It is about time anyway.

Happy holidays to those who are already in it! And go have one, to those who are thinking of it.

Cheers!

In search of ‘old’ friends…

There are friends and then, there are, friends.

I have some friends with whom I have lost touch and really, really would like to re-connect with.

First and foremost, there is Scott Lamura. Scott was my first pen-pal – someone whom I got to know and love dearly (as a friend) when I was just 10 years old. He is an American. Although we have never met but we talked on the telephone once – when he called me from the US to give his birthday wishes for my twelve birthday. We kind of lost touch when we turned 18 – each of us leaving our homes for college and being caught up with our own lives. Then amazingly enough, he wrote me when we turned 21 – he was then a steward with American Airlines and was living in Chicago. Somehow or rather, he remembered me and wrote. Then there were silence. When I got engaged and my wedding approaches, I made an attempt to get in touch of him and managed to track his mom; I wrote her, telling her about myself and my (then) pending wedding. Surprisingly, Scott wrote back! And of all things (and something which somehow breaks my heart), he informed that only a year before, he and his mom had came to Malaysia for a holiday. He had remembered me but had no idea how to get hold of me. Our paths, somehow, is not destined to cross… He is silence once again and being a steward, he moves around a lot so I am just not sure how to get hold of him now.

Another friend is Nurul Hanum Abdul Rafar. She was my best bud in college. We were like sisters…always hanging out together. But somehow, in the third semester, we drifted apart – I met my (then) boyfriend (now hubby) and she had met her partner. The last time I heard from her was in 1999 when she was still working with PJ Hilton, expecting her first child and living at Puchong Kiara. How can I track her now?

These two people really meant a lot to me – Scott for being the first boy who was such a fun friend and at a time when we do not see the other person as a person of different sex but more as a friend and bud. And Nurul because she was like a sister and a friend and so much fun but also very competitive and encouraging at the same time.

If given the chance now, I would like to tell these two that I really love them and that I really appreciate their friendship.

A Conversation with a Four Year-Old a.k.a. Why? Because... I dunno!

On the way to the shopping mall.

Child: Where are we going mom?

Mom: To the shopping mall.

Child: To shop?

Mom: Yes.

Child: What are we buying?

Mom: Nothing in particular. Just window-shopping, I guess.

Child: Okay....

After a moments pause....

Child: Why do we window-shop?

Mom: Becos it is nice... we can compare prices. Then when we need the stuff, we know where to go get it and how much it will cost. Don't you like window-shopping?

Child: It's okay.

Child shrugs.

Mom: What do you mean... it's ok?

Child: Because...

Mom looks at child questioningly.

Child: I dunno!

Christmas Will Soon Be Upon Us...

Malaysia just concluded its Hari Raya Aidil Fitri holidays. We were on a 3 days break and only just came back to work today, Wednesday, 17 November. However, many of us, especially the Moslems, are still on holiday. It is evident through the lack of vehicles on the road.

Soon, in 5 weeks time to be exact, the entire world will be celebrating Christmas. And I mean the entire world because Christmas is seen as the culmination of all holidays. Everyone is more laid-back and things tend to tone down; work, activities, projects etc.

Have I done my christmas shopping? I should although I have not done any. I have seen the things I could make and give as christmas gifts but... (sigh!) do I really want to do it now?

I dunno.

What do my family want? I have bought something for hubby. I can wrap that up and make it his gift but knowing myself, I probably will get him something else when I see that something else.

Ash? Emma? Maybe a toy. Ash seems to like BArbie dolls now. So maybe it is time that she gets her first Barbie. Emma?... She will be one on Christmas Dayitself so what do you give a child who shares the same 'birthday' with The Lord???? And do we double the gift....???

Siblings?....My sister from Miri is coming back for Christmas so that means 2 additional gift this year - one for herself and another for her son.

And who will give me gifts> Hubby? I bet you my bottom dollar that he won't. That is part of his tradition... he just don't give gifts.

So once again, I ponder.

Christmas will soon be upon us. And in the true sense of how I work...I need to get the approval of my GM for my advance leave first.

Then, only then, will i think about buying gifts.

Have a fruitful year-end.

Writing is a Skill

Write

Part of my work, or most of my work, requires me to write.

I write releases, notes, meeting minutes, draft for the newsletter and magazines, write short notes to my supervisors etc. But I have also known for a long time that I like to write creatively.

When Ash was born, I would like a short journal telling her of my daily routines, its incidences, the latest news. I continued doing this till after Emma was born. Then I stopped. For no other reason other than that I cannot find the time to sit in front of the pc and write.

However, i have this blog and I find that not only can I write my thoughts and feelings, I can share it with others.

So forgive me if I sound crude sometimes.

At least I write. Do you?

Ash's First Concert

She can sing really loudly...

Ashleigh had her first concert on SUnday, 7 November 2004. She performed a few pieces for the opening and closing of the concert where she sang a malay, chinese and english song.

She looked really charming and adorable in her maroon dress, sitting at the front row and singing her heart out.


She smiles when she saw her daddy...

How to Look Like the Hardest Working Employee in The Office

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -and you will get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed. According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late. Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc...) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.

8. Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. . . . You can always borrow from the library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary. Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

Train of Thoughts - wednesday, 27 October 2004

We had a meeting with the Admin Dept today - to brainstorm, sort of, on that Dept publicity and marketing needs. However, I came out of the meeting with the feeling that it was a poor meeting - most of the talking was done by my GM and Asst Manager. The Admin reps just sat there and nodded their agreement to whatever was being said.

When I got back to my desk, I saw the tonnes of work that awaits me. So I am starting off with Internal-Link, the in-house magazine for the oragnisation.

In 10-minutes flat, I came up with the draft for the article on "Punch Card" and I am waorking on a draft for our recently concluded media workshop. Then, I got writer's block... thus this train of thoughts. Maybe it can help unblock the block....what an oxymoron!!!

My clerk's pc is annoying me. She has the speaker on and everytime she does a mistake, it goes 'bloope', 'bloope'. I dpn't know whatchacallit but it gives off that sound to let you know that a mistake has been made. I gave her the dirty look a few times but she is ignorant.

Speakof ignorant, a lot of my colleagues are. Cultural, racially, religiously.

Ha!!! Ha!!! ha!!! I am being so Up and Mighty but really... I found that, in the last 2years I have been back in this city, many of the city's citizen are ignorant in many ways. I concluded that it is probably because (i) they have not experienced a more racially, culturally and religiously mized society, (ii) they are not learned enough (iii) they think they know all already.

Sp there...

Now my Asst Manager is briefing a colleague on something in her mind. More work for us.

Here's what in my mind now...what shall I have for lunch?

Simplified Sign Language

The Sign for 'Sad'

I am teaching Emma to use sign language.

I am not trained at using sign language but I can try, and I am doing my research on it. Did you know that sign languages is divided into British and American? Odd, don't you think. It is like spelling 'organisation' in 2 ways - with an 's' or, with a 'z'.

But anyway, Emma knows the sign for 'milk' already. She looked at my hand when I sign it to her so it is embedded in her memory bank somehow. Basically, sign language for babies is simplified and for basic words such as 'milk', 'sleepy', 'bath' etc. I am also teaching Ash sign and the first few words are 'mommy', 'daddy' and 'sister'.

So yeah. She can talk (she mumbles now), can hear (I know cos she response to our voices) so why not let her sign too!

My Baby's A Big Girl Now...

I made these banner myself...

Ashleigh turned 4 yesterday, October 17 2004.

We had a small birthday do at home and invited her aunt, uncle, a cousin and her grandparents (my parents). She was so excited since morning because I was putting together her birthday banner. Then had her father blow the balloons to decorate the house.

When evening came, my family came and she was more excited, running around and being busy setting the table. She almost fainted when she saw the birthday cake her aunt made her.

Everyone had a good feast on the food which included curry crabs, buttered prawns, mixed vegetables and BBQ chicken wings.

Even Emma was excited and couldn't go to sleep because of all the people there, although she was sleepy and was rubbing her eyes red.


Ash's cake made by her aunt

I Shopped Like Never Before....

I shopped during lunch today. Although many of us would officially recognise this as being the 'middle' of the month, the time when our finances are dwindling, when we start to tighten our purse-strings etc etc. However, I shopped and spent nearly RM250/-. Not much of a figure but! considering that it is the middle of the month and that I hardly spend any money on myself, that is a first....

So, what did I buy?

Two cute little dresses for Emma and a pair of hair clips for Ashleigh. Of course I bougt stuff for the girls; I always do!. It sort of make me not feel guilty about spending the money... But really! I always make sure I buy stuff for the girls... even if I do not have stuff for myself. For myself, I bought a white long sleeve blouse for work and a black pant-suit - clothes I have always wanted. AND... I bought a Crocodile-brand wrist watch to replace my (sob! sob!) Swatch Irony wrist watch which died out on me ages ago.

BTW...anyone for a none-working Swatch Irony watch? It will cost you just RM150/-. And if you live in/around KL, better still. You can bring it to Low Yat Plaza and get it fixed at the Swatch shop there. It will just cost you RM50/- to get it fixed. And I can guarantee that it is fixable... I can do it but I do not have the time to spare for the fixture (it will take at least 2-weeks....).

So yeah... I finally bought myself a watch. It is cool... rather dressy but conservative enough for work and play.

So there... that's my equivalent of a shopping spree. My next spree? Probably in early December...for Christmas.

Guardian Angels are a Child's Best Friend

Emma is hospitalised again. Please pray with us for her speedy recovery.

Thank you.

Elizabeth Ashleigh

Ash loves to be photographed...


One of her many poses...


She writes...!.. at least when she feels like it.


She adores her baby sister...

Emma - Noelle Caitlin

Emma's Favorite Toy is Little Bert of Sesame Street


Big sisters are meant to be bullied....


Rather than suck at her thumb, she sucks her right lower arm...


My Baby loves to blow bubbles with her saliva...


Every Child Should Have a Picture Taken Like This...

With Kids Comes Responsibilities...

Chicken Pox

My children are ill... the eldest have the chickenpox and the baby have the flu.

About chickenpox and my child... for other kids, they would be lying around, sickly and groaning in pain with blisters all over. but for Ash, she has the blisters all right, but fever? Nooooo......! In fact, she is actually jumping around and showing off her spots to everyone who cares to have a look. She does not have the fever and her spots are small blisters. However, today is the fourth day she is having it and they are still appearing. Hopefully, they will subside by next Monday.

Emma have the fever. We do not know if this is her reaction towards the 'pox or because it has been a while since she was last ill. But her fever is bad...I spent most nights awake trying to comfort her and helping her loosen her mucus. Yesterday, a colleague commented that I look tired.... hmmmm... well, with kids comes responsibilities. And it is even more obvious when you are the mother. Ask any woman who is a mother and she will tell you that not only is she a worker, she is also the mother, the wife and the caregiver.

I can feel an illness coming from lack of sleep and fatigue. In terms of work, it has been hectic the last few days 'cos was finalising the retreat for my officers. Now, at least I can take a deep breath. The office is finally quiet and I can slow down.

My shoulder aches....

There are dark circles under my eyes...

My eyes hurts from lack of sleep....

Help! I need a retreat myself....!

My Little Sleepyhead

Did I mentioned that Ashleigh attends a kindy near my office? This is her in her school uniform. She is such a sleepyhead that she only opens her eyes to take her bath and puts on her uniform. Then she is off to dream land until it is time for us to leave the house.

Next year she is 5 - another year of kindy-land then we have to decide where to send her for her first grade classes.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

A Rare Moment

Emma hardly smiles or laugh so it was a rare moment when she actually laughed at the camera. Even then it was from much teasing from her sister.

Methinks this child of mine is the serious, thoughtful kind.

A Creative Eye....

Do You See The Lion's Head?

My colleague took this picture on the first night we were at Uma Lahanan. It was amazing!

At first glance, it is just a bunch of clouds. Under close scrutiny, can you see the lion's head?

I Survived Sg Asap

Sg Asap, Uma Lahanan and the whole Lahanan community was something to experience.

In short, the trip was successful, I am tired, the food was good and plentiful, the activities was hectic and the people friendly.

What more can I say?

I Have To Go...Again

I am going travelling again. This time, not to a metropolitan setting such as KL but rather, to the interiors of Sarawak. I am going to Uma Lahanan in the sub-District of Sg Asap, Belaga.

I wish I didn't have to go because I hate the idea of leaving the kids. But I have to. Why? Because I want to make this the one time so that I can get it done and over with; so that my Boss will not pick me to go for the other trips till maybe... in 6 months time. Because I have just too many stuff to do in the office!!!

I will be flying into Bintulu on 22 Sept. From there, we will take a four-wheel drive to Uma Lahanan, which by the way, is nearly 2-hours drive away. We could take the boat, which takes about an hour but with this rainy season, we do not want to be part of Sarawak's river mishap statistics.

To top it all off, Uma Lahanan does not have a Hilton. Rather, we will be spending the 4 nights there in Uma Lahanan itself, which is the name of the longhouse.

That area, mind you, is the Orang Ulu area so thank goodness. Why? Because if it was an Iban area...hmmmm....

So wish me luck and an enjoyable stay. No electricity, no proper cooking place, no piping....(horrorsss...) at least that is what I was told.

Scare tactics?

Thank Your Lucky Stars...

If it was this guy, Hubby would be RM300 poorer...

On the way to work today, Simon (the Hubby) was stopped by a police sgt. bcos he was talking on his mobile phone while driving. I was so PISSED! (with Simon) bcos a million times i have told him to use the ear-piece (that little piece of gadget is hanging from the rear-view mirror in the car!) He got a good lecture from the guy - and nearly caused a traffic jam along the road where we were, since he had to stop at the road side and it was a narrow road. Thank his lucky stars, the Sgt let him off with a stern warning. The only thing I said to him when we drove away was "There is a reason why this thing is here," as I pointed to the ear-piece.

One annoying thing about my husband is that he is the 'curing' person, not the 'preventing' person - from the saying ' prevention is better than cure'. sometimes he would drive like shit and when i remark about it, he would say ' he knock us, he pay lah'. And i never failt o tell him, "I have no time and energy to spend on stopping the car, arguing with the next driver, reaching a settlement and getting the car fix." I even told him that if that should happen, I would just grab the kids and myself and be on our way, leaving him to settle the problem. I will not waste my time and energy on solving things that can be prevented.

Do You Remember When...

The Tower then

Today is September 13. Two days ago was the third anniversary of 9/11. Do you remember what you were doing when you first heard the news?

I do.

It was in the morning (of course). I had just dropped my husband off at his office and was making my way towards Jalan Sultan Ismail from Jalan Raja Chulan. The whole way from home, I had remarked to my husband that The Monring Crew (who then comprised of Lil' Kev and Fly Guy) of Hitz.Fm were not very funky today -- their selection of songs were not too 'happy' and neither one of them were very 'chatty' (for reasons that was still unknown to me).

As I stopped at the traffic light in front of the Wisma Genting, the voice of Lil' kev came on air and he announced the attacks on the Twin Towers.

At that moment, my heart stopped. I could see from the corner of my eyes that somehow, everything seems to go on slow-mo.

The cars were movving more slowly, the lady crossing in front of my car wa walking more slowly, more lethargically. Even I felt tired suddenly.

And all the way to my (former) office in Sentul, I thought and prayed to all involved -- rescuers, 'doers', families and loved ones.

I have a postcard of NY City with similar view of the towers as the picture above. How ironic. Maybe someday, this postcard will be worth a million bucks?

Changes to Come...

My office is going through a corporate change. We have hired some consultants to help us identify our weaknesses and strength as well as what needs to be done. We are all gung-ho for it.

However...

My Big Boss does not seem to want that change. At least, not the ones that the consultants are expecting to recommend. My GM is but not the Bog Boss.

Hmmm... so how do we expect to change when we can't change?

What Is In A Name...

My Daughters, Elizabeth Ashleigh and Emma-Noelle Caitlin

And what their names means….

ELIZABETH: ELIZABETH (f) "oath of God" (Hebrew). In the Old Testament this was the name of the wife of Aaron. In the New Testament this was the mother of John the Baptist. ELISABETH (f) Variant of ELIZABETH. ELISE (f) Short form of ELIZABETH. ELISSA (f) Russian short form of ELIZABETH. BETH Short form of Elizabeth. LIZZY-Nickname for Elizabeth.
ASHLEIGH: (f) “ash tree cleaning” (Old English). A Surname which was originally derived from a place which means ‘ash tree cleaning’.

Elizabeth Ashleigh; My First Born

We call her Ashleigh though at times, I would call her 'Achee' or 'Ashalee' depending on whether I want to make it sound Chinese and Indian. My sister thinks the name sounds too independant and overbearing so she tends to call her Elizabeth. However, Ash does not remember herself being named Elizabeth so at times, she will not reply when called that name.

EMMA: Old German name meaning "entire; universal." Variant, Emmeline, exists. Diminutives include Em, Emmie, and Emmy
NOEL / NOELLE: French name meaning "Christmas." Variants include Noël, Noele, Noële, Noelle, and Noëlle.
CAITLIN: (f) Irish form of Cateline, the old French form of Katherine. Means “pure’, a derivation made by the Romans, changing their spelling from Katerina to Katharina.

Emma-Noelle Caitlin; My Christmas Gift

Emma, I consider her as my Christmas gift because she was born on Christmas morning. Unlike her loud and domineering sister, Emma is gentle and quiet. Although she is just 8-months old at this time, but I can see that she is calm, collected and rather thoughtful.

Candle of Hope

Lighted candles symbolises hope, faith and strength.

We held a prayer session for Emma last saturday. Since she was born, she has been falling sick on and off, she finds it difficult to clear her nose of mucus and she was losing weight.

Hubby and I decided to have the session to seek the Creator's intervention in terms of her health.